Rebranding God
You know, like Michael Scott in The Office.
If you read with intention, you’ll notice that the God from the Old Testament is not the same God as the God from the New Testament. It’s not. And I think I know what happened. See, when the novel first came out, God’s character got so many bad reviews it became a certified rotten tomato. It was horrible, terrible, awful, a blasphemy, if I may. Critics had no mercy. So, naturally, if they ever wanted to make some money and keep people’s mind under control, they needed to rewrite God’s character to make it more appealing to the public, you know, like Michael Scott in The Office.
First, God was like: “Kill your son! Beat up your wife! Hate the gays! If you don’t do as I say, I’ll drown you all and send you to hell!” That’s too aggressive for a main character, won’t you agree? Hard to relate to. No save-the-cat moment - those two inside the arc didn’t count, that was Moses who brought them in, and besides, it was his responsibility. You don’t get points for saving someone if it’s already your responsibility. But then the sequel came out, you know, where everyone hates, beats up, and kills his son for doing magic tricks, and what does God do? He just went: “Meh! I mean, let’s just say he took one for the team, shall we?”
And by the way, let’s be honest, that’s all the Bible really is, a very long and incoherent novel written by a bunch of unemployed and unreliable narrators who, probably, most likely, were tripping balls on psychedelics when they came up with all those miracles stories. That’s all it is. A beautiful fantasy. If you think the Bible, the Qur’an, or any other holy book is the actual word of a superior being passed down to man through divine intervention to learn right from wrong, then you’re a fucking idiot. You know, like Michael Scott in The Office.
And now, this:
